I was going through some of my old feeds on MFP last night and found this picture...
I don't know whether I want to barf or cry when I look at it.
I know to some ppl this would still be considered heavy, but it was the lowest weight I had been at in years. I miss looking that way!!
Over the past few months I've tried really hard to be upbeat and not get down on myself, since I couldn't control a lot of what was going on with my body. It's been really difficult though.
It's now been 20 months since I actually felt really good. I would go through those first 10 months again, I did get my son out of it! But these last 10 months have been difficult. Not being able to figure out what's going on with your body and not being able to control how your going to feel from day to day has been very frustrating! I mean should I really feel like my body is falling apart at the age of 24?
I'm grateful to have gotten the answers I have about some of the things going on with me, even though I know there is still more to try and find out. I am slowly feeling better, I'm just not a very patient person.
This picture is also motivating! I know I can lose the weight, because I did it once and I can do it again!
I'm about half way to my first major goal, which I find exciting! I do think its been a lot of water weight, seems like I am going/running to the bathroom constantly. I am now lower than I was when I had my son last July, I never really lost weight after I had him...so that's another plus! I had really only gained major weight in the last 2 months of my pregnancy which would make that starting to happen a year ago, so I am hoping that at least the next 20 come off pretty quick. I guess we will just have to see though!
Sorry if I sound whiny, I just got depressed seeing this picture. I remember when I took it and feeling like I still was so big and now I would give about anything to be there again. Hopefully with a little time, dedication, and motivation I can get back there!
