The Year So Far

Well let's be honest besides this past month I feel like I've completely failed on what I set out to do this year! It's been hard..,and I know I'm constantly saying that but it just is. Up until April I had done really well. I lost a little bit of weight and was feeling alright. Then in May my Thyroid went crazy again until this past month during that time I put on everything I had lost plus another 10-15 pounds. I felt hopeless that I was ever going to be able to actually just get to a weight I actually felt comfortable with...let alone a size that I like. I saw/see myself in pictures and cringe. When the beginning of July came I decided maybe instead of caring about the number on the scale or the size I'm in I'll just focus on what I need to do better. I knew my eating needed tons of improvement and still does, I need to be up moving more, and I need to find away to just be happy with myself at any size. It sucks when you can't control parts of your body and yes that may mean gaining from time to time, but a lot of it is also having the will power to not indulge in the sugary snacks and to be happy when you least feel like it. I've tried really hard since the middle-end of July to just take things slowly, learn about what foods will help my condition, and just be happy with life. I can't believe what a difference I've seen. I don't have a ton of energy still but I feel so different. My kids are happier because well their mom is happier and not so grumpy. I've tried to cut out carbs, I'm not 100% yet, but even cutting back what I have has helped tremendously! I don't have the aches and pains I use to and I'm not as foggy as I was. Yes I do still check the scale...but it's mostly to keep me accountable. And I have liked what I have seen. I'm currently platueing but I know if I just keep with it it will break. 22 is a lot of weight to lose in just over a month. Right now my main focus is our Disney Trip next month! I'm so excited. I'm also happy because I weigh less than what I did last time even though it's only by a couple pounds. As much as I'm trying not to make the weight part of it seem so important I still have my little goals in my head. The next one is in about 10 pounds, it'll be what I weighed when I had my baby over 2 years ago. None of that weight ever came off and I've been 5 pounds away from it 2 different times since then, so I'm hoping to finally break through it! I'm really going to try and update this more. I like having it to just be able to get on a say how I feel about this part of my life and that hopefully one day I can look back at the struggle and know how I got through it!

I'm Back!!!

So after a hellish year last year I finally feel like I'm getting back to myself at least in the emotional/mental state anyways. My health is still all wacky but I know not tracking what I eat and not exercising hasn't been helping that. 

I stepped on the scale today after probably close to six months! I wasn't happy with the number I saw but to be honest I was expecting a lot worse!! 

We went to Disneyland over Christmas and I hated myself in all the pictures we took, but I got over it and decided if I don't like it I need to do something about it. After we got home we found out we won $500 to go towards another trip there so we are planning to go the first of October to go when it's Halloween time. They have a Halloween Party we are wanting to take the kiddos too where they can dress up and go trick-or-treating. I know it's months away but I still want to look a lot better when we go again especially if we all dress up!

Where I'm not 100% with my health I'm mostly just going to be working on what I eat and doing a couple exercises a week, I know anything more and I'll burn myself out....I know that's sad, but it's my life right now.

Here's to hoping 2014 will be a better year all around, especially health wise:)

Skinny Clothes....

Yesterday I decided to sell my "skinny" clothes...or most of them anyways. 

I seriously cried getting them all out and posting them.

But I figured I know I won't be in them this summer, and we are hoping my hormones even out so we can try for another baby by the end of the year, so there's a good chance I won't be in them next summer either. 

And honestly it's more important to me to grow my family than lose weight. I want to make sure I am healthy enough to carry a baby and that is my goal for now! I may not like how I look in the mirror or in any of my clothing, but getting my body somewhat healthy is what I need to focus on right now.

Saying goodbye to some of my favorite shirts I had when I was (to me) skinny was tough! In a way I felt like I was giving up on ever getting to be that size again, but I know that's not the case. It's just going to take time to get there! So I figured I'll get to enjoy new clothes as I (hopefully) lose weight.

There are a few changes coming in my life too that could help as far as the weight goes, but I will post more on that next week when I know for a fact what will be happening!